It's been a while since I have written anything or given any updates. The past week has definitley been hard especially after reading through my previous posts and seeing how excited I once was. I thought about just deleting this blog all together, since no one even knows it exists yet, but then decided to go ahead and document my thoughts since this is a part of my life and with life comes both ups and downs.
It all started on Friday October 2nd when the nurse called and told me that the blood work indicated lower progesterone levels than normal. They prescribed me a supplement to take throughout the first trimester. I was scared, but thought if I just took the supplement everything would be OK. The next Monday night, I started to experience cramps along with light spotting. I immediately called the doctor on Tuesday morning and she moved my scheduled ultrasound that was supposed to be on Wednesday (October 7th) up to that very day (Tuesday October 6th). When we got there, they performed the Ultrasound which showed a very slow heartbeat and a baby that only looked about 6 1/2 weeks instead of the 8 1/2 weeks that it should be. The Doctor told us that most likely I would miscarry but they wanted to do some blood work to check to see if my Beta levels had dropped to be sure. Derek and I left the doctors office devastated with a picture of our baby in hand. All we could do was pray and hope for the best.
A few hours later, the nurse called and said my levels had dropped significantly and she thought that I would most likely miscarry soon. The spotting and cramping continued and that Wednesday night brought an incredible pain that I had never experienced before. Thursday morning I passed the majority, and then continued to bleed throughout the week. I was so thankful to have such amazing parents and close friends to be there for us during this time!
On the following Tuesday (October 13th) we went back to see Dr. Morgan for additional bloodwork. We talked in length with her about miscarriage and why this happened. She informed us that low progesterone is actually a trigger that something is wrong with the baby. Our bodies naturally recognize if something is not right and will miscarry. I was shocked when she told us that 50% of women have a miscarriage. Of that 50%, a lot of women don't even know they had a miscarriage because it was so early!
Even though my first pregnancy was not a positive experience, I thanked Dr. Morgan and her nurse Mandy for being so wonderful throughout the whole process. I was very impressed with them for taking the time to answer all my questions and being so supportive and informative. I look forward to returning to them for pregnancy #2 some day!
All in all, I have learned so much this week. Even though it has been such a hard pill to swallow, I have felt God's presence throughout and know that everything is in his plan. It has taught me that life is so precious and that everything happens in his time, not ours. Additionally, my relationship with Derek has never been stronger. I am so blessed to have him to walk through life's up's and down's with. I am so lucky to have a husband who I love so much and who loves me just as much in return.
